Everything would eventually turn out fine; I know this, and I can tell you why.
Just a while ago, though, I wouldn’t have sounded this confident. I’d been waiting for something to happen – anything but nothing, in this sphere of emptiness I’d been dwelling.
How did I get here? I wish I knew. I wish I could tell how my world began to unravel – not that it had been very put together earlier, but, at least, there was a lot to look forward to, and every day seemed like a day nearer home. It made sense. Really.
Then the day came when I looked round where I was, but could no longer recognize the place. What I held in my hands, like grains of sand, was slipping through my hands, and I was helpless to do anything – anything, that is, but hope that everything was still in control and that nothing was happening that wasn’t somehow, working out the perfect will of God for me.
What is hope that is seen? And why would you trust, if you could do the thing you trust for? It’s easy – too easy, sometimes, to forget things that we shouldn’t shouldn’t forget for our own sake! And God is faithful, to remind us that no lie can withstand the Truth.
One of these reminders happened for me recently and is the reason for my confidence.
I’d been trying to decide if I wanted to sweep a room that had a lot of sand in it. Anyone else would have known what to do. On normal days, even I would have known what to do. But in that sphere of emptiness, things like this deciding, can be quite a chore.
So I finally decided I was going to sweep the room – it was, after all, the righteous thing to do. Putting my mind to do the deed, I didn’t notice the dry, sharp wood until it sunk into my skin. A picture of the offending wood digging into my flesh, and marking me for life flashed before me as I screamed in pain, “Jesus. Jesus”, I kept calling out, too afraid to look at my hand.
Eventually, I did – and couldn’t believe the sight before me! There was nothing but a tiny reminder that God is indeed with me. “God is still with me”, I said, thankful. “Thank You Jesus. Thank You Jesus”.
Then fog lifted. Since God is still with me, nothing can happen that would take me out of the plan. I could never be lost or so hopelessly far away from home because God indeed is with me, and He knows the plan that He is thinking towards me.
So instead of believing the lies that living in this sphere of imperfection makes possible, I make the deliberate choice to stand with the Truth, and let everything else be a lie. I choose, today, and for always, to sing my gratitude, “Thank you for saving me, thank You my Lord”.
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