I’m uncoordinated. Clumsy. Shy. Bossy. Emotional. Lazy.
I’m not often chosen first for anything.
When I was a kid, I was never chosen first.
In school sports, I was usually one of the very last to be chosen. I mean it was usually down to one other person and me and sometimes I was the very last. I was the person one team “got stuck with”.
It was humiliating.
As an adult, I compare. And when I compare, that feeling of being chosen last still creeps in.
I look at youth pastors with larger youth groups and feel like my church “got stuck with me“.
I listen to more famous speakers and wonder why God didn’t choose to make me famous like Joyce Meyer or Priscilla Shirer.
I follow famous writers and bloggers and wonder why I don’t have thousands of followers.
I see more perfect and successful wives and wonder why my husband chose me at all. In fact, there was a point before we got married when I actively tried to convince Dave to choose someone better. Thankfully, he didn’t.
In staff meetings at work, I’m the pastor who talks back the most. I say what’s on my mind. I question decisions. In other words, I’m a pain in the ass. Probably not the first person you’d choose if you were building a pastoral team.
I wasn’t even chosen in my family; though I was born first. I was the “oops” child. The unplanned one.
{Mom & Dad, you’re probably reading this since you’re my biggest fans. Don’t feel bad. I love you. You’re great parents, and you chose to love me.}
I was adorable, though, so my parents just had to have two more like me.
The point is, I know what it feels like not to get chosen very often.
Then I was reading yesterday and a verse I’ve heard and read tons of times before hit me in a brand new way.
Even before He made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in His eyes. -Ephesians 1:4 (NLT)
God. Chose. Me. First.
Just in case you don’t quite grasp the magnitude of that statement; it changes EVERYTHING.
I’m not the unplanned child. God saw what kind of daughter and sister I would be, and He chose me to be first anyway. I was His first choice as daughter to my parents and as oldest sister to my younger sisters. He could’ve picked anyone else. He didn’t. He chose me.
My church didn’t “get stuck with me” as a youth pastor. I was God’s first choice for that position. He looked at every other possible candidate and chose me first.
I was God’s first choice as a wife for my husband. And get this, my sisters-in-law and I were His first choice as daughter and daughters-in-law to my husband’s parents!
God chose me to speak in the places He has planned and to write the words He gives me. He’ll bring the opportunities and the people. When He does, I’ll know that I was His first choice.
God looked at every moment of the life I have before I was part of it. He knew everything the person He chose for this life would experience. He evaluated every opportunity. He saw every struggle. Then He looked at all the potential people that would ever exist and from all of them…
God. Chose. Me. First.
When He saw the brain tumor my husband would develop, I was His first choice as a wife.
When He saw my parent’s divorce, I was His first choice as a daughter and sister.
When He saw a 5 student youth group in a 30 person church, Dave and I were His first choice as youth pastors.
When He saw the mistakes that would be made in this life, I was His first choice to experience the ways He would turn them around for good.
Friends, I was God’s first choice for the life I’m living, and you know what?
[Tweet “I was God’s first choice for the life I’m living and so are you-@JennArman“]
So were you. God saw your whole life before you existed. He saw every experience. Every love. Every hurt. Every fear. Every tear.
And out of everyone…
There was no one better for the life you’re living. There was no better candidate for your job. There was no better daughter or son for your parents. There was no better sibling. There was no better wife or husband. There wasn’t even anyone better to experience your mistakes and struggles.
God. Chose. You. First.
And He did it BEFORE He laid the foundations of the earth.
Father God, there’s no logical reason why You should’ve chosen me for anything. Your only reason is that You wanted to. You wanted me. You don’t just love me. You like me. You think I’m amazing. As far as You’re concerned, I’m the whole world. Thank You for not just choosing me but for choosing me first. I love You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Photo Credit: “Creative Commons Left Out” by Ally Middleton is licensed under CC BY 2.0
