Looking for Love in the Wrong Places

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Can God redeem us? Can he take someone who time and time again searched for a guy to make her feel loved and “good enough”? Someone who continually gave herself physically and sexually in order to feel loved? Someone who thought she was “used up,” “messed up,” and had inappropriate relationships with several guys just to please them? Someone who eventually would have relationships out of caring for another person and couldn’t get away from this sin etched in her? Could God love and forgive a girl like this?

Growing up was difficult. I lived in fear of my dad. I was scared of always doing the wrong thing. I can barely remember much, but I can remember the emotions. I was screamed at for leaving my bike in the neighbor’s yard. In trouble for putting my feet on the couch or leaving a light on. I would get in trouble for crying (I am a girl who cries a lot). Why would you get angry at a little girl for crying? I was someone who got upset and cried a lot. So getting in trouble for actions that were inherently “me” made it not “okay” to be me. I was scared at soccer practice if I was good enough if the girls liked me. I lived in constant fear and have no memory of being told I was beautiful or smart or just okay. I only remember hugging my dad once growing up.
Searching for Love

Writing about the emotional abuse and lack of affection as a child is difficult. ( my mom shows me love in a service type way. I know she loves me because of how much she has done for me.

 

Caroline and Justin

About the Author

Caroline is a 27-year-old Daughter of the King who loves drawing colorful Bible verses, being active and playing board games. She has a passion for developing communication skills in children and young adults with developmental disabilities. She grew up in South Jersey in a Roman Catholic household.In 2015, she started reading the Bible, knowing the love of God, and now is part of a loving church community. Her website is Daughters of the King.

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