My life has been rather uneventful compared to others. I don’t want to appear to be boastful I just want to state that I have had a very good life. I have not experienced great disappointments or loss. I have not experienced abuse, and my parents did not divorce. In fact, they are still living, and I spend a lot of time with them. I do sometimes reflect on my life, and I know it’s unusual to not experience tragedy and loss. I am saddened to know people endure great trials, and I pray for them.
Please understand that I do not boast about my life. I feel greatly blessed, and I am truly thankful.
In Life’s Absence
The other side of not experiencing some life events is that I sometimes feel very immature when I listen to women my age (nearing 50) who have endured so much. My heart goes out to them because so many have loved and lost through marriage and divorce. They have struggled to raise their children and now are challenged by being a support for their adult children and grandchildren. Many have also lost their parents, and some have lost a spouse or a child.
My life has been very uneventful in comparison. I know things can change quickly, and we never know what is just around the bend but today, at this moment in my life, I sometimes feel even more isolated as a single because I lack life experience too.
My life is very stable. I am good with my money and responsible. And, I have good friends who often want my opinion and input. I have a good job and feel I contribute to my workplace. I think I have grown up in most ways except this area of ‘life experience.’
Some of this is directly connected to being single. No husband and no children can mean less stress and all of the things that go along with a busy household, but it can also mean that your character develops differently too.
I used to feel mature for my age. I think because I am an introvert and led a quiet life people thought I was older than I really was and treated me that way. I ‘missed out’ on some of the things that happen when you are young. I didn’t date much, didn’t marry, and didn’t have children. I never felt I was missing anything but now I kind of feel like I have been left behind, and I still have some living to do.
So I ask God for wisdom and discernment. I thank him for his blessings and because I am a ‘hopeless romantic’ I still ask him if I can have a ‘grown up’ relationship. That is what marriage means to me now. I long for my life experience to fit my age. I wonder if that sounds silly. Listening to young women half my age talk about their past relationships, children, and travels as well as their opinions I think, ‘They have lived twice the life I have!’.
Remaining in Hope
I do believe God can use me right now with whatever life experience or gifts I have (or I lack). I am determined to serve him anyway. I know he has good things in store for me and whatever life experiences are in my future He will be there to see me through.
Are you an older adult walking through singleness? Have you had moments where you felt you missed out or were left behind? Share your thoughts in the comments.
About the Author
My name is Vickie and I live on the East Coast of Canada. I am 47, single, never married and have no children. I am interested in writing about my life as a single Christian woman and how my faith has sustained me through the years. I am new to blogging, but I feel I have something to contribute in writing about single life. So often what I read to encourage singles is written by those who are married, and it can be difficult to appreciate that perspective. Most people have experienced singleness but few, like myself, have lived out their whole lives that way. Connect with Vickie on her blog. See Vickie’s previous articles on singleness: Embracing Singleness and Advice for Singles.