Finding My “New Normal”

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Have you ever been through a trial or season in life you had no idea how you were ever going to get out of it? A season of pain so deep you often wondered if you would ever be whole again?

That was me last fall. I had a relationship and strong friendship end that left me wondering if my heart would ever be put back together. Would I ever be myself again? The pain was intense, and my hope was lost.

It was a moment in my life that left me on my face, crying out to God, ugly cry and all. It left me seeking God more than I ever have in my life. And guess what? He showed up. Every single day.

It is a funny thing now to look back at that season of my life, one I never want to remember but one I never want to forget either.

Painful and Beautiful
Sad and Hopeful
Loss and Love

The Lord literally took my pain away and created a purpose with it. Pain I never intended or wanted, but needed. He always works everything out for our good and His glory.

And here I am today, March 2016 and stronger than ever with a love so deep and a testimony stronger than ever. How will it be used? I don’t know yet, but it will because God never wastes a single moment of our lives.

God Words for the good

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose. ” Romans 8:28

I can look back now through this process and smile. I am stronger. I am wiser. I am complete in Christ and I would like to share a few insights, encouragement and hope for those who may be going through something similar.

· There is a void in all of us that is ONLY meant to be filled with God. The pain I was feeling was the untangling and removing something that was not supposed to be there. It is painful as we remove something that was not meant to be in the first place.

· Humans are in need of a Savior every single day. The enemy attacks our most vulnerable areas of our hearts and we need to protect them with God’s Word and God’s strength daily.

· There is POWER in finding support in other women! I am so grateful I asked a woman at church to be my mentor. I was able to come to her, be vulnerable and have her speak wisdom, hope and life to me during this time. If you do not have a woman mentor, I encourage you to find one.

· Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but a desire to stay STRONG. I was embarrassed. I had the mindset if I told anyone about this they would judge me and my lack of faith. But there is something so powerful when women can be vulnerable to other women without judgement. Women can encourage and empower each other in a way that men cannot, find those women who do that for you. You will be better for it!

· Find your new normal. Create new routines throughout your day. Avoid places you went to with each other or remind you of him. Remove/block his number, and any social media outlets. Even if you feel you have moved on, those places can trigger a memory and there is no point in making those feelings come back up again.

· Remind yourself that is this is NOT your end all be all. This is part of your journey and honey, your journey is FAR from over. It is just unfolding. You can miss his friendship, your long talks and constant communication, but be reminded that letting go is not the end of a book, but the beginning of another beautiful chapter.

[Tweet “letting go is not the end of a book but the beginning of a beautiful chapter-@ChristensenJess “]

· Open your heart again to God, let Him romance your soul again and ASK him to take away the pain you are feeling and remove the thoughts that come into your head. You do not have to believe everything that comes into your mind.

· STOP- REFOCUS- READ-REPEAT- When a negative thought comes into your mind STOP- refocus the thought on something positive. READ the Word and REPEAT the promises that God has for you!

[Tweet “READ the Word and REPEAT the promises that God has for you”]

· SEEK His Word daily! The only way to know God, to hear His voice is to get into the Word. The Bible is our instructions on how to live a JOYFUL life. Make a routine to read the BIBLE daily.

· Journal! Write down your feelings, your prayers and watch how God answers them. You will look back at those entries and see just how faithful God was during this time.

· TIME heals everything. There is a time and season for everything under heaven. I used to think this was such a clique, but is so true. Take a look back at those times, those valleys in your life and see how God has helped you overcome them. Those valleys are a distant memory that made you stronger. THIS will make you stronger.

· GOD is trustworthy. He knows YOU. He knows every hair on your head. He cares about how you feel. Trust Him He knows what is best for you. You might not see the purpose of this valley right now, or even until you get to Heaven, but I promise, God always is trustworthy.

· God is in the business of redeeming love stories! This might be the ending of a love that you thought was forever, or it could be like mine, a strong friendship that was gut wrenching painful to lose, whatever it may be, know that God wants you to have a love story greater than you can imagine. He wants to bless you with a GREAT love, a Love that represents the church and Christ. He knows your heart, He knows what you need.

To sum this up, get into the Word, surround yourself with friends, pray, open yourself up again, give your heart to God and watch Him heal you, provide for you, bless you and AMAZE you.

I promise there will be a day when you will look back on this time and smile, thanking God He was with you the whole time, and thanking Him for protecting you from something you are not ready for yet, or never created for. His plan and will for your life always be better than you can ever dream of or imagine.