Being a single woman (who has never been married) and over the age of 40 puts me in a category all my own most days. I am more aware of it with each passing year. I still want to marry, but my attitude about marriage has evolved over the years. When I was young I thought of it as a duty or a job where I would have the responsibility of keeping a man and a family in line! Now I think of it as the opportunity to be a good partner and companion and I long for that. The idea of being open to raising a family has faded. I have always tried to fill my life with things I enjoy and serving God through my work and my church. Yet there still seems to be that notion at the back of my mind that somehow someone is meant to be my husband or partner. God made me that way, and I believe he will meet that need.
My friends have changed over the years too. I have left behind those who married and raised children (and now have grandchildren) and have found a small circle of friends who are widowed and divorced and so are now single like me but still different having lived part of their lives married. I know very few women my age who have never married.
The church is not always a place where singles feel like they belong. No matter how well-meaning all the older ladies are to kindly include me in activities I have had to find a ministry I am comfortable with. I teach in the children’s program. I was not instinctively drawn to this ministry but God prepared me for it, and it is a great blessing to be a part of a community and teach the children to love the Lord!
The Bible says it’s good to be single, so you are not concerned about pleasing your spouse but pleasing God. That doesn’t mean being single you are more spiritual than everyone else! I spent a lot of time and energy pining for a husband as a young woman. When I decided to not compare my life with those around me, I became much more content in my singleness. My life is my own, and I need to live it out the way God wants me to. His way might mean a life of singleness, and I need to accept that. God has taught me to value his word and wait on him.
I desire to honor God with my life and in doing that, He will prepare me for whatever the future holds. I still want to be ready if someday God brings the right man into my life. I was greatly encouraged when two widows in my church were married. Both of them over the age of 60!
Are you an older single adult? Have you found your attitude toward marriage change as you have gotten older?
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